My friend Susan gave me a colorful ceramic skull as a gift after a trip to the southwest, and I keep it prominently displayed on a table in my office. The skull is a symbol of “memento mori” – the Latin phrase that means: Remember that you must die. When I look at it, though, I don’t think about death. I think about what I need to do to live well.

For the last several months, as I’ve blogged about the wisdom years and hosted Zoom gatherings to discuss a variety of age-related topics, I’ve been inspired by our conversations. Lately, having written more about death and dying, it may seem as though I’m living under a dark cloud, but it’s actually been quite the opposite. Talking about death and end-of-life planning has given me something valuable: The freedom and motivation to live more courageously.

We can’t think our way to a better life. We have to do something. Action is the antidote to worry, fear, and anxiety when it comes to aging. We need to have hard conversations, move our bodies in new ways, step beyond what’s safe and familiar, and we must take risks. Here’s what happens when you do…

In 2020, when I started cold water swimming with a group of friends in the middle of winter, I had no idea how taking this one risk would completely change my life. My friend Libby, who joined me, had no idea either.

Libby and I both started dipping regularly, and our willingness to do something so scary sparked big changes. I canceled work commitments. She left her business and launched a modeling career. I rescued two cats, and invested in piano lessons and a garden. She traveled to gorgeous places around the world and sent back pictures. I took a break from writing books and decided to read more. Libby wrote a book called Cold Joy about her ocean adventures.

Aging became an exciting experiment that took us in different directions but connected us to what turned out to be the single most important ingredient for aging well: Being part of a thriving community.

Dipping introduced me to a core group of local friends who have become my ride-or-die sisters. These women now inspire other adventures – pajama parties, theater performances, thrift-store treasure hunts, cooking lessons, and miles of walking and talking about books, movies, and current events. We’ve become catalysts and support team members for each other, and as a result, we are living richer and more meaningful lives.

It turns out that you can make the rest of your life the best part of your life, but you must be willing to take chances: some big, some small. You can’t stay in one place and expect a better view.

This will be the topic of our next Zoom gathering on Wednesday, April 22^nd at 3pm ET/12 noon PT. I’ve invited my friend, Libby, to join us to talk about her midlife adventures, and together we’ll discuss how to become brave as we age. If you’ve joined me before, you’ll get the invite. If not, you can sign up here.

Love,

Cheryl