In January of 2012, during a TEDxWomen talk, Jane Fonda referred to the last three decades of a person’s life as the third act, a developmental stage she sees as a staircase leading to: “the upward ascension of the human spirit bringing us into wisdom, wholeness, and authenticity.” Jane sees age not as pathology, but as potential, as longevity affords us another second adult life. How wonderful that we have more time to grow…

I’ve held Fonda’s perspective close over the last several years. It’s allowed me to see the challenges and opportunities of aging as fodder for a new stage of personal growth. The decision to embrace rather than resist aging is giving me some of the toughest challenges I’ve ever faced and some of the best years of my life.

As someone who has always liked a roadmap – a linear, practical path for moving through life (what I see as a more structured, masculine way of operating), I’ve found conscious aging to be a more feminine journey. This path is about presence and spontaneity rather than plans and expectations. It’s less about setting goals and intentions and more about patience – trusting the magnificent mystery of life to show me my next best step. And it’s about consistently strengthening the muscles I need to climb the staircase with confidence and courage.

Some of the capabilities that need strengthening to age well are quite challenging. You’ll need the ability to let go of responsibilities that are no longer yours so you have more space for self-reflection, growth, and trying something new. Then comes the harder task of sitting in the space you’ve created (without distractions) long enough to hear the truth of what your soul wants rather than your noisy mind.

You’ll have to increase your ability to set firm, loving boundaries around your time and energy (without apology) so you stop wasting your life on what you’ve outgrown. And you’ll want to get really good at returning to the present moment again and again because this practice will teach you to trust yourself and your ability to redirect your anxious mind when it hijacks your life.

Finally, you’ll want to know when enough is enough because, at some point, the striving for more actually gets in the way of receiving and appreciating the joy that’s always been right in front of you.

This is my life, my priorities, my path, and it’s well worth the work. The wisdom years ask for less ambition and more attention. Less certainty, more trust. It’s become pretty clear that we don’t discover wisdom at the top of the stairs, we earn it one step at a time. Thanks for taking the journey with me ❤️.

Love,

Cheryl