Cheryl's Blog

Learning to live with questions

What a week.
What a year, really.
What a time to be on the planet.

Still in process and doing my best to make sense out of a senseless event, I’ve been sitting with the inner storm and its aftermath. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired. Exhausted, actually. And fed up.

As I sat down to write this week’s blog, I realized I have far more questions than answers. Like many of you, I’m grappling with the feelings that arise after a traumatic event, trying to emotionally metabolize it all. I’m doing my best to sit still, to notice, and be with tough questions without taking any action because I don’t want to spew unhealed and undigested material on others.

We’ve seen enough of that for a lifetime.

Here are some of the questions I’m living with…

How do I continue to take the middle path that supports the healing of all people when I feel angry and fed up with some?

How do I keep my reactions in check when events stomp on old wounds and make me want to lash out?

How do I embrace and honor all of my feelings, especially the “inappropriate,” unfair, hurtful, or negative ones?

How do I stay in constructive conversation with those who don’t share my beliefs or perspectives? Do I even want to?

How do I stay out of the “one-up” club by loving people rather than judging those who don’t share my views?

How do I host compassion and anger at the same time so I don’t do something stupid that I’ll later regret?

How do I continue to honor and respect the fact that most people who don’t share my beliefs have feelings too, and pertinent history that supports their views?

It’s so tempting to draw conclusions, to do what we can to regain control, to enter into black and white territory landing on answers prematurely when the world feels chaotic and crazed. I’ve done that for most of my life and I’ve learned the hard way that it doesn’t serve the higher purpose I choose to uphold.

So, I sit with the questions and hope that sharing them with you this week offers something helpful. Sometimes just knowing we’re not alone is enough…


PS – If you’d like support, please join me this week (1/14 at 2pm ET/7pm GMT) for our monthly “Coach on Call” zoom gathering sponsored by Alternatives in London. You can learn more and register here.


Photo by Sebastian Knoll Unsplash