Last week, during our Zoom gathering, I started the meeting by sharing a list of ways to make yourself feel worse than you already do about the current state of the world. It was a tongue-in-cheek way of inviting people to see their behavior from a different perspective. I had intended to carry the joke into this week’s blog because several people said they could see themselves in the list and were inspired to make changes. But after reading what I’d written, I deleted them. I felt anxious putting them in writing and decided not to feed the beast. That said, it’s funny (and effective) on Zoom, so I invite you to watch (see link below).

Speaking of changing behavior, last night, after going to bed, I discovered that my favorite heating pad had kicked the bucket. I had two, and it was the second one to break in a week, and the company is no longer in business.  As I wrapped the cord around the broken pad to toss it, I was upset. Really upset. That’s when I noted my overreaction and looked a little deeper. (You can also learn about emotional regression on last week’s Zoom, too)

Earlier in the day, I updated my iPhone software only to discover that the change had affected my phone’s formatting. This meant I had to relearn how to use certain apps like Photos. I was frustrated trying to find a picture for a friend and thought to myself: Couldn’t things just stay the same for a while! Shortly after that episode, I went online to pay a bill only to discover that the company had changed its website and I needed to create a whole new account. Too much change.

While I’m aware these are first-world problems, especially given what’s happening around the globe right now, I could see that my angst about the heating pad was related. There has been enormous change in the last several decades, especially since the pandemic. Retail stores have closed, making shopping a chore rather than a pleasant outing. People buy groceries and supplies online, reducing the likelihood of human contact. Endless streaming options have stolen our attention, making us more disengaged from each other. And don’t even get me started on the wasted time creating endless new passwords!

Change is hard enough, but when it’s happening on a systemic scale, during a chaotic time in the world, little things start to feel pretty big. It’s no wonder so many lose themselves to scrolling, peanut M&Ms, drugs, and alcohol.

There are things that help. One is knowing you’re not alone. With each Zoom gathering I host, it’s clear that listening to others who are struggling with the same issues is healing in and of itself. You can almost hear a collective out-breath as we discuss the common challenges of the wisdom years.

We also need more space in our days. Less activity in our calendars. Room to breathe, to ponder, and to patiently consider what truly matters when making choices that evoke change.

And finally, we need to trust ourselves more. We are being trained to look outward for wisdom through blogs, podcasts, and online courses, and this habit of accumulating information is taking up precious brain space. Once we’ve reached the wisdom years, we have enough history to lean on our own experience first.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by change, I invite you to listen to the Zoom gathering. You might be surprised by some of the unexpected advice. You can watch it ad-free on our site here.

Love,

Cheryl