I was sitting in the back seat of a car, driving through an unknown city, my face pressed against the window, wondering where I was, when I woke to find a wet nose pressed against mine. I opened my eyes and found a pair of gold orbs staring back at me with a look that said, “Let’s go. It’s time to eat!”

Yes, I’m a mother to a ginger cat named Berty and his sister, Wednesday, and they’ve taught me a lot about self-care in my wisdom years. The lessons have been pretty cut and dry:

Set and reinforce clear boundaries so each party knows the rules of healthy engagement.

If I try to pick one of my cats up when they don’t want to be held, I get a loud meow or a swat on my arm. They know exactly how to say, “No!” without apology or guilt.

Ask for what you want directly and deal with the outcome.

Cats don’t negotiate. They let you know what they need and then deal with the consequences. If Berty wants to play when I’m busy, he’ll ask by meowing at my feet, and when I don’t get up to throw a ball, he goes off on his own, finds a toy, and bats it around himself.

Be curious about everything because you never know where you’ll find joy.

If you’ve been the fortunate caregiver for a pet, you know how masterful they are at finding joy in the most unexpected places – the back of a sock drawer, the middle of a pile of freshly washed clothes, a balled-up piece of paper, or a leftover box or bag. This morning, Wednesday squeezed herself into a 12” x 4” box and stayed there watching the world for more than an hour. I swear she was smiling.

Respect the boundaries of others. Don’t give what isn’t asked for.

One of the biggest lessons I’m learning is how to let someone have their pain or discomfort without interfering. If Berty is trying to expel a hairball, for example, the last thing he wants is to be picked up or coddled. He wants to be left alone to do his thing. I’m learning to witness discomfort without interfering unless I’m invited to do so.

Play every chance you get.

Okay, this might be the biggest lesson of all ☺.

Happy Mother’s Day to those who mother children, pets, friends, family members, their communities, and the world at large. May you be a Queen for the day (actually, a lifetime!).

Love,

Cheryl