I stood at the kitchen sink rinsing plates and putting them in the dishwasher when I noticed a familiar train of thought laying tracks in my head. Let’s see, I told myself, I’m done paying bills, balancing the bank accounts, and cleaning up the kitchen, so now I can make a cup of tea and finish reading my book.

Sounds harmless enough, except that it was the third time in a week that I caught myself acting as if I could only do what I wanted to do once work was done. It’s an old habit, a holdout from the stage of life dedicated to accomplishment and succeeding, but now, in this new stage – the wisdom years – I have to keep reminding myself:

You don’t have to earn your joy.

So, I sat down in the living room, pulled a blanket over my lap, and spent the next hour finishing my most recent favorite book. As I turned the final page, I closed my eyes in an effort to hold onto the magic of the experience. My back told me I’d been sitting in the same position too long, but I didn’t want to break the spell by getting up to stretch.

Late to the party, I finished “The Correspondent” by Virginia Evans. This runaway bestseller tells the story of a woman who confronts aging, past mistakes, unshared opinions, and the consequences of living in small spaces (both in her head and in her life). The story is told through letters she writes and receives, and it’s a unique format that gets better with each turn of the page.

These days, I’m spending more time with books than with my phone or computer and it’s been such a pleasure. I’m now reading “The Forty Rules of Love” by Elif Shafak (a spiritually rich story), and in the last few months, I’ve finished autobiographies by Barbra Streisand, Anthony Hopkins, and Lionel Richie. These types of books are compelling because they not only teach me about the lives of artists, but about how the past influences the present, the trajectory of a creative career, and what people learn along the way as they age and become more self-reflective (and they all do).

I’ve learned something important by not postponing joy: Nothing catastrophic happens when you make pleasure a higher priority in your daily life. Instead, it softens the edges of the day, stretches time in the most delicious way, and reminds us that life isn’t something to be earned—it’s something to be lived.

Love,

Cheryl