Tag Archive for: Aging gracefully

Cheryl's Blog

What are you waiting for?

/in /by

Last week’s Zoom gathering about discovering your Enneagram type and how it can support us in our Wisdom Years is available on our website here.

I’ve decided to forgo writing a new blog this week and instead enjoy a trip to an antique flea market with my friend, Kimmie (the gal with the sunflower smile). The topic of this former blog explains why 😀.

 

~*~ Don’t Postpone Your Joy~*~

I stood at the kitchen sink rinsing plates and putting them in the dishwasher when I noticed a familiar train of thought laying tracks in my head. Let’s see, I told myself, I’m done paying bills, balancing the bank accounts, and cleaning up the kitchen, so now I can make a cup of tea and finish reading my book.

Sounds harmless enough, except that it was the third time in a week that I caught myself acting as if I could only do what I wanted to do once work was done. It’s an old habit, a holdout from the stage of life dedicated to accomplishment and activity, but now, in this new era – the wisdom years – I have to keep reminding myself:

You don’t have to earn your joy.

So, I sat down in the living room, pulled a blanket over my lap, and spent the next hour finishing my most recent favorite book. As I turned the final page, I closed my eyes in an effort to hold onto the magic of the experience. My back told me I’d been sitting in the same position too long, but I didn’t want to break the spell by getting up to stretch.

Late to the party, I finished “The Correspondent” by Virginia Evans. This runaway bestseller tells the tale of a woman who confronts aging, past mistakes, unshared opinions, and the consequences of living in small spaces (both in her head and in her life). The story is told through letters she writes and receives, and it’s a unique format that gets better with each turn of the page.

These days, I’m spending more time with books than with my phone or computer and it’s been such a pleasure. I’m now reading “The Forty Rules of Love” by Elif Shafak (a spiritually rich story), and in the last few months, I’ve finished autobiographies by Barbra Streisand, Anthony Hopkins, and Lionel Richie. These types of books are compelling because they not only teach me about the lives of artists, but about how the past influences the present, the trajectory of a creative career, and what people learn along the way as they age and become more self-reflective (and they all do).

I’ve learned something important by not postponing joy: Nothing catastrophic happens when you make pleasure a higher priority in your daily life. Instead, it softens the edges of the day, stretches time in the most delicious way, and reminds us that life isn’t something to be earned—it’s something to be lived.

So, this week, I’m reminding you to join me for a little pleasure. I’ll be meandering around a flea market. What will you do?

Love,

Cheryl

Image note: This artwork was AI-generated. The writing and reflections are entirely my own.
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Cheryl's Blog

You don’t have to earn your joy

/in /by

I stood at the kitchen sink rinsing plates and putting them in the dishwasher when I noticed a familiar train of thought laying tracks in my head. Let’s see, I told myself, I’m done paying bills, balancing the bank accounts, and cleaning up the kitchen, so now I can make a cup of tea and finish reading my book.

Sounds harmless enough, except that it was the third time in a week that I caught myself acting as if I could only do what I wanted to do once work was done. It’s an old habit, a holdout from the stage of life dedicated to accomplishment and succeeding, but now, in this new stage – the wisdom years – I have to keep reminding myself:

You don’t have to earn your joy.

So, I sat down in the living room, pulled a blanket over my lap, and spent the next hour finishing my most recent favorite book. As I turned the final page, I closed my eyes in an effort to hold onto the magic of the experience. My back told me I’d been sitting in the same position too long, but I didn’t want to break the spell by getting up to stretch.

Late to the party, I finished “The Correspondent” by Virginia Evans. This runaway bestseller tells the story of a woman who confronts aging, past mistakes, unshared opinions, and the consequences of living in small spaces (both in her head and in her life). The story is told through letters she writes and receives, and it’s a unique format that gets better with each turn of the page.

These days, I’m spending more time with books than with my phone or computer and it’s been such a pleasure. I’m now reading “The Forty Rules of Love” by Elif Shafak (a spiritually rich story), and in the last few months, I’ve finished autobiographies by Barbra Streisand, Anthony Hopkins, and Lionel Richie. These types of books are compelling because they not only teach me about the lives of artists, but about how the past influences the present, the trajectory of a creative career, and what people learn along the way as they age and become more self-reflective (and they all do).

I’ve learned something important by not postponing joy: Nothing catastrophic happens when you make pleasure a higher priority in your daily life. Instead, it softens the edges of the day, stretches time in the most delicious way, and reminds us that life isn’t something to be earned—it’s something to be lived.

Love,

Cheryl

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Cheryl's Blog

What needs to die before we do

/in /by

I stared at the shiny white walls glowing from the bright light hanging above my head. Wrapped in a paper-thin cotton gown, I clutched the opening at my chest, baffled by the fact that someone still hadn’t invented a more comforting cover-up. As I waited for the dermatologist to arrive for my annual skin checkup, I questioned my decision to leave my phone in the car. Learning to stay present is important to me, but today I preferred a distraction.

After nearly 30 minutes of trying to meditate while listening to staff answering phone calls, I grew restless. That’s when I looked down at my feet. Ugh, I thought to myself as I twisted my toes this way and that. I should have gotten a pedicure. My feet are a mess. I held my hands out in front of me and splayed my fingers. And I hate this arthritis in my hands. It makes them look so old.

As I lifted my legs searching for suspicious age spots on my shins, a surprising inner voice commanded me to stop.

Knock it off, Cheryl, it ordered. You’ve been beating your body up for decades. Is this what you’re going to do for the remaining years of your life?

The impact of that question surprised me. I leaned back against the headrest and let out a frustrating sigh. Fault-finding was a well-honed habit, something I’d learned from my Mother who no doubt learned it from hers. We were generationally masterful at spotting physical flaws.

Did I want to keep treating my body like an enemy at this stage of my life? Had it done any good? Did naming flaws motivate me to fix them? Did I feel more loved under this kind of scrutiny and judgment?

No. Never. Not at all.

I stood up, grabbed a notepad and pen from a nearby counter, and wrote the following to myself:

Your body is a blessing. Your hands have written love notes, birthday cards, blogs, and books. Your feet have carried you to meet more beautiful people and places than you can even remember. No more criticism. Only love. Please keep this promise.

After the appointment, during the long drive home, I thought about how well-trained we are at judging ourselves and how this behavior becomes so unconscious and automatic that we don’t even notice it anymore. But this week I did. I caught myself, and I’m ready to lay these old habits to rest.

Some things must die before we do in order for us to age well.

Join me this week for a Zoom gathering on Wednesday, 3/25, at 3pm ET/12 noon PT, to talk about what needs to end so we can live well in our wisdom years. If you’ve been with us on Zoom before, you’ll get the invite. If not, you can register here.

Love,

Cheryl

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