Tag Archive for: emotional resilience

Cheryl's Blog

Who do you keep forgetting?

I was at the fridge grabbing something to drink when I stood up quickly and whacked my head on the freezer door I’d left open above me. Tears immediately sprang to my eyes as two things happened. I became angry and started criticizing myself for making such a “stupid mistake.” Then I began to reverse-engineer the experience, trying to understand how I’d hit my head in just the right spot to cause such intense pain. That’s when I thought of Charlie Goldsmith and his book, Human Medicine.

Human Medicine by Charlie Goldsmith

I’d finished the book before leaving on vacation and had made notes in preparation for our Zoom gathering this week. It’s why his work quickly came to mind. Charlie’s book is an invitation to notice, name, and embrace the parts of us that were split off during times of intense emotional pain. When we do, we heal past wounds, get unstuck, and generate the kind of solid resilience we can count on. One way we discover these parts is by paying attention to the feelings that occur during present-day situations.

My experience with the refrigerator is a simple example. When I hit my head, I felt instantly vulnerable and hurt, and instead of feeling it, accepting it, and comforting myself, I ejected these parts and became angry and curious. I started berating myself for being so stupid, and I became more interested in how it happened than in what I needed. As soon as I realized what I was doing, I sat down, wrapped my arms around myself, and said, “Sweetheart, it’s okay. I know you’re hurt and I got you.” As the pain subsided (and it did so quickly, by the way), I imagined reaching out to the young girl who couldn’t afford to be vulnerable, pulling her into my arms and folding her into my present-day self.

While this might sound like a silly exercise, it’s a fundamental path to wholeness and healing. Calling back the parts of us that were rejected during intense emotional experiences earlier in life not only makes us whole, it grows us up, and gives us access to the helpful qualities and skills we need as adults. This is the practice Goldsmith writes about in his book (in a very effective way), and we’ll talk more about it during our Zoom gathering this Wednesday.

Goldsmith is an energy healer from Australia, and I began following his work years ago. As someone who has studied energy medicine for decades, I appreciate his gift, his humility, and his desire to bring this healing method into mainstream medicine. Goldsmith is currently involved in several studies to demonstrate the efficacy of this work, and he’s developing an app that will connect healers with those in need of support. I’m excited to share his work with you.

You can join us this Wednesday (7/22) at 3pm ET (12 noon PT) to learn more about Charlie and his plans. If you’ve attended a Zoom gathering before, you’ll automatically receive an invite. If not, you can register here.

Learn more about Charlie Goldsmith and his book here.

Love,

Cheryl

Cheryl's Blog

Don’t feed the beast

I’m taking a little break from blog writing now and then over the summer, and will be sharing a few popular past blog posts. I hope today’s message is relevant to you (and helpful!).

~*~ Don’t Feed the Beast ~*~

Sometimes we gain wisdom from the most unexpected places. Last week, I had my buttons pushed when I stumbled upon a Facebook exchange about my work. Two women were discussing the release of my new audio program, “Self Care for the Wisdom Years,” and they made a few assumptions about me that were incorrect. And they weren’t very kind about it.

Normally, I brush those things off. I’ve been at this a long time, and I know better than to take things personally. But I’m human, and having just given birth to a new creative project, I naturally felt more vulnerable. In that state, it was easy to overreact.

After reading their comments, I felt compelled to reply and correct their mistakes (compelled being the operative word here). Fortunately, because I was upset, I knew better than to do so. Instead, I walked away from the computer, made myself some lunch, and turned on an episode of Madam Secretary – a favorite TV series.

About halfway through the episode, the actor playing the Secretary’s Communication Director was anxiously trying to get the Secretary to respond to a reporter maligning her work. “No,” the Secretary said repeatedly. “I’m not going to address it.” When pushed further, she exclaimed firmly:

“I am not going to respond. If you feed the beast, it just gets hungrier.”

 

Upon hearing her words, I felt my muscles relax. Well, there you have it, I thought. The perfect intervention. No need to add fuel to the fire.

I smiled, thanked the Secretary, turned off the TV, and finished my lunch. Then I went to my journal and wrote the following:

Misunderstandings
Judgments
Opinions
Frustration
Fear

DON’T FEED THE BEAST.

Wise advice to remember. When you choose self-regulation over drama, you’re no longer at the mercy of the outside world. Instead, you have your own back.

That’s called self-love in action.

Love,

Cheryl