Hummingbirds buzzed overhead as I enjoyed a tomato and cucumber salad from the garden. There’s nothing better than eating summer vegetables straight from the vine, I thought as I marveled at how the tiny birds maneuvered around the plants. I also thought about a conversation I’d had earlier that day with a friend who was having a tough time getting a good night’s sleep.

“I don’t know if it’s menopause or the stress at work,” my friend told me, “But I keep waking up in the middle of the night worrying about silly things like whether I turned off the stove or remembered to pay a credit card bill and I can’t get back to sleep.”

I’ve heard this complaint numerous times over the past several months. Friends, readers, and colleagues all complain about being in a constant state of turmoil that interrupts their sleep, and it makes perfect sense. Every day, a new crisis splashes across the screen of our lives, leaving no time to catch our breath. And breath is important for regulating the nervous system.

These days, I can’t tell you how many times I notice that my breath is only reaching my breastbone before it travels back up and out of my mouth. I swear I can hear my back and belly yelling “Hey, we’re down here, too – come visit!” Shallow breathing is a surefire way to dysregulate the nervous system and the remedy is quick and easy: Breathe into your belly. Breathe into your back. Breathe as if your whole rib cage were a giant ball in need of air.

To combat the daily anxiety, I’ve gotten in the habit of checking in on my breath. When I do, it’s often shallow, so I stop for a few minutes and do the ball breathing. Within minutes, my shoulders drop, my thoughts slow down, and my body feels more relaxed. Try it right now.

Here’s what else I do when I’m stressed: Just this morning, as I walked from the living room to the kitchen, I noticed my whole body leaning forward. It was as if my head were pulling the rest of me, and the minute I caught it, I stopped to readjust. Shoulders back, head over neck, butt muscles engaged, and automatically I felt more stable and grounded. Try that, too.

I hate to say it, but the anxiety of uncertainty isn’t going anywhere. Not only are our political system and upcoming elections a melting pot of madness, the rate at which technology is changing our lives (and our nervous systems) is also adding to the mix. But there’s an upside to all of this.

Coaching people for thirty years has taught me that most of us change our behavior in positive ways when we hit a life crisis – a divorce, getting laid off from a job, or an unexpected health diagnosis. Today, the crisis is overwhelm itself. Most of us feel like we’re on tilt, and it’s forcing us to look for ways to regulate from within rather than waiting for outer circumstances to change. Peace is and always has been an inside job, and once you own that truth and do something about it, life improves.

Interesting to note that the Enneagram can be a useful tool when dealing with anxiety. Each type tends toward certain behaviors under stress, and becoming aware of your particular dance can help you find a path to peace. As promised in our last Zoom gathering, I’m going to host a follow-up Q&A session about the Enneagram, and I’ll also talk about some of the stress behaviors for each type. We’ll meet this Wednesday, 8/12, at 3pm ET/12pm PT, and if you’ve joined us before, you’ll get an invite. If not, you can sign up here.

You’re not alone. Join us and meet your kindred spirits 😀.

Love,

Cheryl