I stepped out of the front door and found a large cardboard box sitting on the stone wall by the courtyard. The size of a park bench, the side of the box read, “FRAGILE! Handle with care!”

I pulled the package inside, grabbed a pair of scissors, and opened the top. Inside, I found a rose tree with a card that read, “In Honor of Your Mom.” That’s when I remembered that thoughtful friends had purchased this gift for Michael and me after my Mother passed, and it was to be delivered in the spring.

I removed the plant from the box, placed it outside on the veranda, and added water to the pot. Later in the week, on a day when I had the house to myself, I stepped out into the sunlight, launched my Spotify app, found a beautiful chant to the Divine Mother, and slowly went about the business of replanting the tree as a ritual of remembering.

Rituals create a container for grief. As I dug my hands into the soil, I thought about my Mom and all the things I missed – her sweet birthday songs, paper cards with underlined messages, her laugh. Like a movie playing in my mind, I recalled conversations we’d had, car rides through the old neighborhood, the time at the beach when I watched her walk along the water’s edge with ribbons of seaweed trailing from her hands. She looked like a little girl in love with the world.

I welcomed it all, knowing that grief needs time and space, a chance to come out of hiding, to be cleansed and healed by the light of day. Grief won’t kill us, but avoiding it can create all kinds of trouble. Undealt with loss can leave us feeling stuck, unmotivated, and overwhelmed by life. It keeps us locked in the past, our energy hijacked by the history we haven’t yet metabolized.

Loss is inevitable, this I know, and it comes in waves as we age. Not only are there helpful ways to welcome and process the sadness, but there’s an opportunity to encounter the beauty of being fully alive when we learn to keep the heart open.

This is the focus of our next conversation. On Wednesday, May 14^th, (3pm ET, 12 noon PT), you’re invited to a Zoom gathering about “Facing Loss, Finding Ourselves in the Wisdom Years.” If you registered for prior Zoom gatherings, you’ll automatically receive a link. If not, you can do so here.

Happy Mother’s Day to my sweet Mother-in-Law, Pat, and to all those who share their beautiful mothering energy with the world.

Love,

Cheryl