Cheryl's Blog

Week 25 – New Rules: Whose messages are you listening to?


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Have a great week!



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Topic of the Week

New Rules

This morning I visited our farmer’s market to get some fresh vegetables and to see what kinds of treasures the local artists were offering.  I love this summer ritual and look forward to seeing familiar faces, hearing music from neighborhood bands, or learning about the new businesses that have joined our community.

As I sat on a bench with my friend Nancy, eating a slice of strawberry rhubarb pie, I overheard a conversation between a mom, her daughter, and the mother’s mom.  The daughter, who couldn’t have been more than 5 years old, was complaining about how hot it was.  After hearing “Mom, it’s tooooooo hoooooot,” for the tenth time, the mom was clearly getting tired.  “Honey, everyone’s hot,” she replied, “you’ll just need to wait till we get in the car.”  As they continued to walk toward the parking lot, I then heard the grandmother say, “And, if you talk about it, it makes it worse.”

Now, I understood exactly what the grandmother was trying to do – help her granddaughter handle the heat.  Yet, I also heard something else – the formation of a new rule.  This simple, harmless message had the potential to lodge itself in the thirsty sponge-like brain of the little girl, only to become a rule to follow later in life – “Don’t talk about what feels bad because it will just make it worse.”

Each one of us has a mental filing cabinet full of rules, many of which were harmless one-liners uttered by the adults who occupied our worlds.  The question is:  Whose rules are you living by?

Take Action Challenge

This week, when you find yourself feeling stuck or frustrated, ask:  “What would someone have to believe to be stuck like me right now?”  Then, decide whether or not this belief is worth holding onto…

My friend, Kelly, sent this week’s video to me.  Would you do this at 80 years old?  Talk about no regrets… You can find it here.  Thanks Kelly!

Life Makeover For The Year 2010 (sm) is written and produced by Cheryl Richardson. If you have any questions or comments, or for reprint permission of this newsletter, please email: © Copyright 1999-2010. Cheryl Richardson, P.O. Box 13, Newburyport, MA 01950. All rights reserved.