Cheryl's Blog

Becoming a good mother to yourself

Like an elegant Queen, she sits quietly on her throne, undisturbed by the world around her.

She’s strong. Determined. Clear on her intent.

Her robes are made of downy, white feathers that shield her from the elements as she waits.

Wind. Rain. Sun. Thunder. She sits still through it all.

She’s a mother protecting new life.

For a few weeks now I’ve been watching a Mute Swan again this year as she sits on an island near our home. She’s perched on her nest waiting for eggs to hatch and each time I drive by, I say a silent prayer that all goes well.

Here she is…

(photo by

I don’t have children.  I made a choice to be a different kind of mother this time around, a woman learning to care for herself and sharing what she discovers with others.  If I had chosen to be a Mom, I have no doubt I’d be just as committed and fierce with my love as this beautiful Mute Swan.

Today, in celebration of Mother’s Day here in the states, I’d like to share a few things a mature and healthy mother does to take care of herself, not only because she deserves to do so, but because she’s learned that she’s much more helpful to others in a balanced way when she does.

When you’re a good mother to yourself, here’s what happens:

~*~ You stop making excuses for doing what you want to do.  You let your desire be enough.

~*~ You choose to disappoint someone else now and then instead of disappointing yourself.

~*~ You tell yourself, “I love you,” on a regular basis so you start to believe it deep in your bones.

~*~ You feed your hunger for adventure and aliveness.

~*~ You ask for what you want directly rather than beat around the bush.

~*~ You stop pretending everything’s okay when it’s not.  You tell the truth.

~*~ You speak up when you have something to say.

~*~You no longer defend, debate, or over explain your decisions.  You trust your choices and you let your inner guidance run the show.

~*~ You cut yourself some slack. When you fall back into the habit of caring for others at the expense of yourself (because you will), you reach for compassion rather than a stick.  You remember that gentleness and kindness go a long way in supporting positive change.

Today, as you honor the women in your life who have nurtured and cared for you, remember that being a good mother to yourself is important, too.

Happy Mother’s Day!

xo Cheryl

PS – Our next retreat is scheduled for October 25th-27th and if you’d like to know when registration opens, put your name on the waitlist here.

PPS – I’ll be on Facebook Live this Wednesday, May 15th, at 6pm EST/3pm PST.  You can join me here and watch past Facebook Live sessions on my YouTube channel at CherylRichardsonTV here.

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